Disrespect and Love – The Ladies Room has questions…

Is there a possibility that there can be a combination of disrespect and love at the same time in a relationship?  I just sat up with a couple of friends of mine who helped me debate this topic – Ladies Room style!  I think that question bears an obvious answer but what we debated is this: why do women constantly believe that a man loves them when he so freely wails small doses of disrespect around?  I’ve heard men say “well at least I didn’t do …” x, y, z and somehow we are supposed to be grateful. Sometimes it’s even right in our faces and we choose to believe we are in love and he “didn’t mean it because he always plays like that.”  

I found myself in tears – mostly from laughing so hard – but a couple of times because if you have true friends, they give you the bitter pill of reality rather than the sugar coated fantasy world through rose colored glasses.  We came up with these 10 questions (scaled down from 27) – and though we heavily debated them, we are going to leave it up to you to comment on whether it is disrespect or a mountain out of a molehill.    The Ladies Room on DiRadiocast.com ran a show talking about the subject with special guest Rahiem Shabazz from Rasha Entertainment.  We are going to poll ladies on what they feel is disrespect from a man (and guys, yes, I realize this happens in the reverse so by all means post your comments as well to wake some of our lady friends up).

DISCLAIMER:  I started NOT to make this post.  Too many of what my friends mentioned might hit too close to home for some.  It might make those close to me think I’m speaking about them…though my issues triggered the conversation – it is no way directed at anyone I know.  But if this post makes you feel a little uncomfortable, wellllllllllll – I have some mirrors if you need em’  ;)  What?

ARE THESE DISRESPECTFUL?

Question # 1 –  When a man/women is out in public with you and allows other women/man friends to greet him/her in a “very friendly or familiar” manner in your presence?

Question #2 – When a man/woman allows another woman/man to push you to the side (not literally) or carry on a conversation forever pretending you don’t exist or you aren’t standing there? (can be in person or through telephone conversations)   Flipside:  Should the “girlfriend” invite herself into the conversation?

Question #3 – When Your partner talks about your sex life together in front of other people?

Question #4 – When a man shoves or pushes you – because after all, he didn’t actually HIT you? (Whoa…see the last post if that has happened to you!)

Question #5 – When a man doesn’t open the door for you, wait for you, pull out your chair, or “check for you” at parties, clubs, or restaurants?

Question #6 – When your partner (serious relationship – almost married that is) has a key and comes to the house without calling first?

Question #7 – When your partner totes himself/herself as single or takes the proverbial “don’t ask don’t tell” approach.

Question #8 – Your partner treats you like what you have/want to do isn’t really that important and can wait.

Question #9 – Compares you to other people.

And finally, Question #10 – Doesn’t bring you home to meet the parents or avoids allowing friends to meet you…

Inquiring minds really want to know…

So there is no real formula I’m following and I don’t even have any advice for those who might be experiencing those situations listed.  But one thing I do know, is you have to follow your heart.  Sometimes people don’t realize that what they are doing is disrespectful because no one ever told them they were acting in that manner.  On the other hand, someone could be taking a small non-gesture to seriously.  Either way, the Ladies Room stands firmly on the question TI poses in “Why You Wanna” – “…is you happy?”  

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